Sunday, July 31, 2005

life and living...

it's amazing what happens to a person when faced with their own mortality. for some it's an opportunity to jump into life and kick it in the butt; for others it's an excuse to sit there and cry out at all of life's injustices; while others quietly reflect upon their life and the lives around them.

it's so painful to have to stand on the sidelines watching my friends struggle with their own illnesses or the illnesses of their children. my friends from college, greg and susie, lost one of their twins, colin, earlier last week. they have exhibited a strength that leaves me absolutely amazed. colin, born a preemie, fought harder than most adults would be able to do just to stay alive. that is the memory that he has left on all who had read about his life. greg and susie, my prayers go out to you, allen, caroline, and of course, colin.

my other friend, beth, who is struggling on her second run with cancer. she has shown a strength of will that would leave me exhausted. she has a positive attitude, a positive outlook, and is taking her stand against the cancer that has invaded her body. i went to dallas this weekend to spend some time with her. she was pushing herself so hard because my time in dallas was so limited. i feel bad about going for such a short period of time but the time that we had was great. in the face of her struggles, she was concerned about how *I* was doing. it made all my little complaints and grievances petty and small in comparison.

then i have my friend, concerned about what she can do...she did the best thing that she could in BOTH situations - she loved and she cared. she attended little colin's funeral on Friday and grieved with greg and susie; and she made matching bracelets for beth and myself (which i LOVE - it's beautiful...) and she's never even met beth. beth had tears in her eyes just knowing that someone who hasn't even met her did something so thoughtful and touching.

it's so amazing how the human spirit reacts to pain, suffering, grieving...i know that my small spirit just cries against the wrongness and injustice of it all. then my small spirit with the little faith that it has reminds me that there is a reason for everything. it's not always enough and it doesn't keep me warm at night but i just have to believe that there are reasons for it.


  1. so if you can update blogspot why couldn't you update yahoo??

    after your visit with beth and the gift from sao, does this mean you will go to lunch with the mooch and pay her extra few bucks for tip?? hahahahhaa!!

  2. heck, no.

    it's easier to update on blogspot. it doesn't take as long for it to load. geocities took too long.


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