Healthy Bread in 5; Bread Braid : Epi and Spicy Crackers

I am the worst when it comes to sticking to a timeline. I find them too restrictive.  So  not surprisingly, here I find myself on Wednesday night, the only night I have available before the January 15th due date for the first bread braid.  There is NO way I was going to flake out on the very first project of the year.

I mixed up the dough on Tuesday evening, understanding that it was going to be a "wet" dough but still concerned that it was really, really wet.  After work on Wednesday, I went straight into my kitchen as soon as I walked through the door, well, because my back door is attached to my kitchen.  But the point here is that I got straight to work.

I decided to start on the Epi because I thought it was so pretty!  I stretched and pulled  and let the dough rest...stretched and pulled some more with a snip-snip here and a snip-snip there.  The more I snipped, the goopier it was getting.  That's when I realized that I was supposed to let it rest & rise before I snipped it. In addition to my problem with procrastination, I'm also really bad at reading instructions. Scrapped and started again.

Once I let it rest and rise, I did my snipparooo.  I examined my work. I couldn't figure out why my Epi looked so flat.  I look at the picture in the cookbook. Nice and puffy. I looked back at mine. Flat and pankcakey. Hmmmm. I was about to stick it in the oven when I realized that I needed a baking stone.  I mentally searched my brain as to its location. ARGH. Store room. The room that contained boxes and boxes of stuff - and the baking stone underneath ALL the boxes up against the wall.  I got scared and pretended like I didn't own one.

As i waited for the Epi to bake, I decided to start on my spicy chips.  I began rolling out the dough. I was completely baffled by how I could best combat the stickiness and wetness of the dough. I ended up dusting on enough flour to build a small child. From scratch.  I grumbled, I growled, and I rolled. After I brushed on the oil, I started sprinkling the chili powder on little by little, using all but a teeeny weeeny bit.  I looked down and realized that it was on a bit thick. 

Hmmm...read the instructions again and realized that there was supposed to be leftover chili powder. Crap.  Well, there goes that.  During my brief reading of the instruction, I saw that the instructions called for a pizza wheel.  A pizza wheel??? What the HECK would I be doing with a pizza wheel??  I mentally visualized my utensil drawer.  Hmmmm...well, ok, theoretically, ANYTHING could be in that thing including a pizza wheel and a tire jack.

[Friends, please note, if I ever tell you that I NEED a utensil, remember this photo and realize that I am lying to you and that my pants are on fire.  Also, if you happen to see my mom, please don't tell her that I actually posted up a photo of my utensil drawer for all the world to see.  If she were dead, she'd be turning in her grave.  Thankfully, she's still alive and quite able to yell at me for shaming her and all the generations of women who have gone before her.]

Sadly, my crackers came out more like the bread and my bread had the consistency of the crackers.  Quite unfortunate but it most definitely tasted wonderful! Better luck next time [hey, who knows...perhaps I'll read the instructions THOROUGHLY first.  naaaahhhh]

**Los Angeles friends: SweetTartelette will be teaching a food styling and photography class on Saturday, March 6th from 2pm - 5pm.  There are only a few spots left, so if you're interested, please email Rachael [at] lafujimama [dot] com to reserve your spot! [see below at the macaron entry for additional information on the class]