Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Mac Attack, Southern Invasion aka "How Not to Host the Tartelette"

Boy and Girls, Ladies and Gentlemen: Let this be a step by step tutorial for you on how NOT to host the Tartelette.

It all started when I went to pick her up from the airport - clutching my camera in one hand and my [work] crackberry in the other.  As I waited for Helen to arrive into the baggage claim area, I was neurotically checking my crackberry.  Somehow, that wiley cat managed to slip right by me.  Funny how that happens when one isn't paying attention.  After playing phone tag for a few minutes I finally found her and my opportunity to take a photo of her as she walked in tanked.
Sierra, world's cutest puppy

We were blessed to be invited to Todd and Diane's from White on Rice Couple's home for dinner but it was still 1:00pm and we were starving. So we get into the car and head down to Hermosa Beach to check out the beautiful Pacific Ocean.  I hoped to find some great, clever dining option but the first place I found was Hennessey's.  If you know ANYTHING about Hennessey's you'll know it's an Irish Pub...you know...the kind where they serve really greasy Quesadillas?  That's where I took the Tartelette.  I mean...the Macaron Celeb. One of FORBE'S magazine's Eight of the Very Best Food Bloggers.  Uh huh.  I took THE Tartelette there.

Oh but WAIT.  My First Class treatment doesn't end there!!  The next day we headed off to Matt and Adam's studio.  Did I stop for coffee or breakfast? No, of course not.  Why ruin the beginning of a really bad track record with some hospitality?  After we were wowed by Matt and Adam's awesome prop room [Geez, I'm still hoping that nothing accidentally fell into my very large purse] we decided to check out Hollywood.

I had been promising Helen some Korean Hot Pot and all kinds of ethnic foods for weeks.  So naturally, that really had to take precedence into our meal plans.  So on our way to Hollywood, I took her to Umami Burger.  You know...the place where they serve BURGERS??  I find out that Helen hadn't had a burger in 15 years [probably with GOOD reason] but she's so freaking gracious that she said that she really enjoyed it. I would've smacked me into next week, if I were her.

That evening was our tweet up at The Yard.  Chef CJ [the tallest man in the world] came by with a delicious bite of burrata cheese, snap peas, and puree.  Great happy hour and great happy hour nibblies!  Thanks to Erika, Kate, Giselle, Patti, Sonja, Kathy, and Remil for attending!

We were so busy chit chatting with everyone that we realized that we hadn't really eaten dinner.  Inspiration struck - I decided that Helen, Gaby, Sonja, Remil, and I were heading to the taco truck, El Paladar Oaxaqueño, our first ethnic meal of the trip.  Lengua [tongue], Cabeza [head/cheek meet] were our choice for tacos.

Classes went well the following day [with the exception of MY macs but that's a whole other story] but after class, we were starving.  Unfortunately, it was 11:30pm and nothing  in the area was open.  NOTHING except for The Kettle, a 24 hour join in Manhattan Beach...the place where I spent many college late night meals.  I hated it when I was in college and I re-discovered that I still hated it. 

So, in case you missed it, let's have a replay:
1. Helen had to run around the airport looking for me.
2. I promised ethnic foods.  I take her to greasy bar food, a burger joint, or just plain nothing at all.
3. I took her to a taco truck for ethnic food.
4. I didn't give Helen a chance to eat any breakfast on any day.
5. I took her to a dive - a place that i didn't care for, even back in college, for a late night dinner.

But wait, it doesn't end there...to top off the entire week, I dropped her off at the wrong terminal [it was a code share flight] causing her to MISS HER FLIGHT.

Please take a look at the above steps and understand what you should never do when inviting Helen to your city.  Did I mention how gracious Helen was throughout the entire week?  Her schedule is booking up quickly so I suggest you get her in to your city as quickly as possible. But please...don't be a boneheaded hostess like I was. Oh...and if I invite YOU to Los Angeles, you may want to think twice about it.

Stay tuned for Part II of the Tartelette's Class...


  1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, and she survived to tell about it!

  2. You are too hard on yourself:) I am sure Helen had a fabulous time-bad food and all..ha! I can't wait to hear about the class-sooo jealous:)

  3. Funny! But I'm sure Helen had an amazing time. Makes for great story-telling. :D

  4. Hahahahaha!!!! Oh Jen, how you make me laugh!! I can't believe Helen missed her flight!! But you forgot one major point, Helen was hosted by one of the sweetest, funniest, most kind women in LA!! She was lucky to have you as host :)

  5. I agree with Sonja..you may think you were off track, but I thin you're fab and I'm sure Helen did too!

  6. Hi Jen,

    ROFLMAO!!!! It's reassuring to know that I am not the ONLY person who does stuff like this!!!

  7. I'm sure it wasn't THAT bad. The photo class was fabulous and it was so great to meet you in person!

  8. Hahaha! Oh man... so hilarious. I loved the class so much so I am selfishly glad you got her here.

  9. omg, what a crazy crazy good time!

  10. awww, thanks, guys, for trying to make me feel better. i don't know though - If I were her, I'd be REALLLY MAD!! But she's so sweet she actually said she'd come back!!

    But really - you'll have to ask her yourself. All those things really DID happen!

    [incidentally, I did get her & la fujimama to a korean hotpot place, as promised!]

    [sonja, your comment, coming from one of the SWEETEST attorneys I know, means a LOT!]

  11. This comment has been removed by the author.

  12. (Spell check!)
    Oh ladies! I had a blast. When Robyn first invited me to attend the class in her daughter's stead I was just happy to get out of the house! I had no idea who the teacher was or for that matter the caliber of the students who would stand beside me! I'm not a foodie, just a schmo who *sometimes* write in her blog!

    Thank you to everyone for making me feel so at home and putting up with an outsider! Although my unfortunate cookies ended up more like macaron flavoured fudgies (talk about sticky feet!) it did give me the confidence to try try again!

    Thanks again, S'mee

  13. Jen Jen Jen...

    You bet I'll be back! You are one of the most gracious, generous and funny people I know. Happy and blessed to have you as a friend Lady!

    P.S: you did not make me miss my flight. The 2 dufus families in front did by changing their tickets in a check-in lane already 1 mile long.

    I would not change my trip for the world. It actually makes for great stories and good giggles now, right?!!

  14. This is very humorous. Helen seems pretty gracious so I suspect she took it all in stride. And honestly, it sounds from other things I've read that you all had a blast!

  15. Bwahaha! She'll just have to come back! Can I be in on the KTown excursion?

  16. omg gfgirl said tartelette was GF!!!!!!! did she get sick on the burger, omg!

  17. Kate: Fer sure!!

    Anon: No, she didn't get sick from the buns. Not to get into details, but luckily, gluten itself doesn't cause her any traumatic sickness/injury. She just doesn't consume gluten on a regular/daily basis. That would've been a really, really bad hostessing move on my part!! :)

  18. Awwww this was a pretty amusing post but I am sure you were a lot harder on yourself than need me! Although I always imagine the worst and think the worst most times too and am always worried about what other people think and want to make sure they are having a great time too!

  19. I love your wit and charm!! I bet you and Helen had a wonderful time together. I am thrilled that I was able to attend her photo workshop. Thanks to your hospitality we were all able to enjoy her :)


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